YIQING's blog .


I'm sorry to be smiling every time you're near.
I'm sorry my eyes twinkle whenever you're here.
I'm sorry that cupid has made his hit.
I'm sorry I love you, I just can't help it.

Heehee:]

Cheng YiQing;

Sweetie, Love, Girlfriend, Sister, Mummy, Daddy, Pretty, Dear.
Hey girl, deal with it .!
想起我们有过的从前, 泪水就一点一点开始蔓延 :]

Where there's love, there's heartbreak. What for give myself a chance to get hurt once again?

Paid attention in class today. I've nothing left except school and friends. Though school life's meaningless to me, that's like one of the two aspects in my life I have left so no matter what, I can't give up on that. I don't know what I've been thinking. Just feel super exhausted mentally and emotionally. If I'm having mood swings these few days, kindly do not bear a grudge. There's just much that has been happening and my brain hasn't had the time to fully comprehend what took place. So please be understanding.

I'll always remember Beverly, Kristin, Roujun and Vanessa for as long as I live. Thanks for being there whenever I needed you be it in the past, present or future. I know you 4 will never, ever leave me alone to fend for myself no matter what happens.<3

Came online just to edit my blog and friendster and now that I'm done, I shall attempt to revise on my work before I head to bed.

Living in this world is such a bother. I don't know why I'm just not dead yet. I need some one to talk to, some one to pour everything I've been feeling this week to. Mixed emotions, happy and sad in less than a minute. I hate this world.

Boy, I hate you for putting me through everything. I hate the tears that I've been shedding. I just hate every single little thing that has been happening.

Good night Planet Earth.

I do not know why I bother to come online any more. Life's kinda meaningless don't you think. I've been paying attention to my lessons and I don't see the reason for them at all. I don't see how Indices, Surds and Logarithms will help me in my future. I am not craving a career as a professional volley baller. I have not much reason to write bao zhang bao dao when I grow up either. See what I mean when there's no reason to study what I am studying now?

Slept during Maths lesson. Guess I'm drained mentally and emotionally. Had Chinese in 302 today and it was so hot? I think it's due to the fact that the ceiling's way higher than 306's and the fans are "shorter" in a sense. Went to Compass after school. Initially we were supposed to go to Starbucks but ended up at the library and at KFC instead. Amazingly, I'm gaining weight :D It's the only thing worth getting happy about. Though it totally contradicts the girls I know as they want to lose weight not the other way round.

没有人能替代你在我心上.
因为当我爱上你的那一刻,
我发现到只有你能让我感觉什么是真正的爱<3

School's meaningless to me already. Life's gonna become the same way. Until I find a real reason as to why I'm on this Earth, I see no reason why I should really care much about anything. My mood's becoming worse and worse. I just can't stop it and in a sense, I don't want to either. I want to stop obsessing over certain things but I just don't bother to stop. Oh my, I'm just a mentally retarded freak.

Oh ya, and at Compass Point, the guy in the Nokia shop on the 2nd floor near 77th Street is an idiot. I asked him about my handphone and all the answers he attempted to give me sucked big time. Must why don't even answer la. Crazy one. I was like rolling my eyes for the whole time I was in the shop? Though I don't know much about electronics, I know enough to understand that he was talking BULLSHIT all the while. Rah, wasted like 15 minutes of my whole life time listening to a bloody idiot talk cock. Lame~

Baby, I can't stop thinking about you.
I think that some how, I'm really falling for you.

Toodles~


In computer lab noooooooooooooooow(: Supposed to research on fashion. Lol. Supeeeeeeer tired but surprisingly I didn't fall asleep during any lessons. I managed to chiong my maths and English homework during Maths lesson. Cool right :D But generally, nothing went into my head at all. South park was retarded. Mr Chan let us watched it during CME period.

I don't know what to think about any more. In short, I've decided not to do anything about the matter at hand. Instead, I'll choose to be ignorant and take it as though nothing has happened. Thanks Beverly, Kristin and Roujun<3

More when I get back.

Toodles~

230207
I'm not used to the trainings anymore. Been becoming too lazy already luh. After GB headed home for steamboat cum barbecue at home. After that went to Monfort Mac area to find HAJ and gang. They were going to throw eggs? After that went to Sengkang. They threw, we went star gazing. Cabbed to his house and took bus from there home.

240207
Woke up at 6.30 and went to Hougang Mac for breakfast with the GB girls. Went to school after that for training until 12.30. Supposed to end at 12 lorh :X Chiong home afterwards as Kristin and Roujun were already on the way there. Surprisingly I reached there earlier than them by like 5 minutes? They reached when I was bathing so we waited for HAJ to arrive then headed to Bedok and waited for F apple M orange. Then all of us went to Beverly's house to bai nian. Heh. Home around 6. Went to dinner with family and I was like falling asleep right there. I had Orange Juice! Ate and ate and ate. I felt so fat and bloated. Learnt how to make a rose. Home at 12. Super duper uber tired.

250207
Went to bai nian again today. Home after that and have been playing neopets. Lol, it's a fun game you know :) Addicted to it already. Oh ya, thanks mummie (not my real one of course) for hearing me out today. The talk we had helped me a lot. (: Oh ya, I'm addicted to HanaKimi already luh. Been watching it for the whole afternoon.

No matter what, I shouldn't get angry. You're the one that have gone closest to my heart. But I realize that I don't know you at all. I don't understand what you're thinking about. I don't understand what I'm thinking about. I shouldn't care about anything about my studies this year. Friends are important too. But not love. That should be the last thing on my mind.

Off to get ready for school. Chiong homework tomorrow. I'm dead beat.

Toodles~

It sucks when some one you know turns out to be some one you don't know.
It sucks when some one betrays your trust.
It sucks when some one hurts you the same way others did.
It sucks when some one you thought you could trust actually isn't some one you can trust.
It sucks when some one makes you cry.

& It sucks the most when some one I thought I liked did all of the above.
All of them are just the same. I see no difference. Really no difference at all. I wonder why I even gave him a chance.

Good bye everyone on this fucked up Earth.

Continuation from the previous post, so sorry but forgot to add on some things.

I'm going to break down soon. I know I'm over reacting and that I'm being over sensitive and all that but hell, it's been ages since I last felt the way I do now. Feel like screaming and shouting at some one, drinking all the alcohol there is to drink, go to the beach and swim out to the sea till I drown, cry and cry until I fill an ocean with my tears, just everything negative there is to do.

Oh, I won't scold profanities any more. Good girls don't scold bad words. I shall try not to think so much already. Off to bed I'll go now and I'll cry everything out to my pillow. Thanks blanket for being there every time I need to hide away from this world. Sorry Beverly, I know I've been a lousy orange these days. I promise I'll be better by Saturday.

Off to let those tears drip:)

Felt tired for the whole day. Couldn't really stay awake during lessons. And yes, History lesson sucked like hell. Please, who does she think she is? Shout shout shout. Did she even stop to think for a second why our class's attitude is so fucking bad towards her in the first place? Stupid idiot, what testing you? If we wanted to "test" you, we would have done so long ago. Don't need wait until now right? Noob~ GB ended early today and I went with the rest to the fun fair. I didn't dare to sit on any of the rides. Apple and I sat on the Ferris Wheel. Sad to say, I'm scared of heights. Lol.

I don't know what to think. Nor what to do right now. And if I say I do not want to care any more, I'll really mean it. I'm tired. I don't feel like caring about more than what's necessary. I just don't fucking care alright? Damn it. I feel damn frustrated and fucked up. I really need a strong drink to keep me from going mad.

Yiwei; It's boDOH not bodo. Lol.
Beverly; I know! But I don't wanna bother you everything D:
Leegek; Cute right! Especially Tigger ;D
Vanessa; Thanks, I'll always remember that<3

God, why is this world just so screwed.

I don't give a fucking damn about any fucking thing on this world. Damn fucking moody for the whole afternoon already. And I don't fucking care if I stay moody for the rest of my life. I'm bored. I'm brain dead. I can't process anything in my head right now. Damn. Screw this world.

Don't piss me off right now, you damn bloody faggot.

Continued from yesterday.
CNY this year is like the worst one ever. The part with my family I mean. Went to reunion dinner and I couldn't stand the boredom. Imagine staying there with nothing to do for the next 3 hours or so. So brother and I bailed and had dad sent me home. Decided to meet HAJ and gang so I begged dad to allow me and surprisingly, he did :D Went home, placed stuff in my room, got my card and off I went. Met up at one of the blocks near Yuying Sec. Weird place to meet right? After that they went to the arcade then off to town we went. Was too late to catch a movie 'cause I had to be home around 12 plus 1. So went to Parklane instead and the pooled. Was super tired the whole night. Dad came to pick me up afterwards at 1.

Woke up at around 7 thanks to apple's message. I don't understand how can he barely sleep for the whole night and still be so energetic so early in the morning. I was half dead. Lay in bed until I felt bored then came downstairs only to find everyone still asleep. Changed then went to auntie's house for lunch. Cousins at my house now. Thank god they aren't disturbing me :)

Just some random pictures :)

See, the red packets so cute la! Especially tigger :D


I finally got to drink Orange juice [:



Yay for Cousins!

That's just about all. Heehee, wait. Put one more zi lian zhao :P

There, done :D

Zhaozhi; Haha, didn't really bother to dress up mah :X
(V); Patrick star! I'm not working at Yoshinoya luh. Rahhh.
Mrs Mingdao; Haha, how are you and your darling lao gong now? Hee :)
< / 3; Ehh, you are? And erm, who are you refering to? :/

I'm off to slack around.

Toodles~

Lazy day today! Woke up at 11. Read storybook and ate lunch until around 1. Went to take a nap until 4. Don't know why I'm so tired. Must be all that HAJ's fault! Last night called me at 12 plus then talk until nearly 3 :D Heehee, just kidding (: I guess I'm glad I came clean with him and told him everything that happened yesterday. Why is it that the things I do is practically the same as what she did. I don't want to be a shadow of her in your life. I'm me and I hope you know that. No matter what I do, I'm not and I'll never be her. Oh well, later going for reunion dinner.

Many questions do not need explanations to them. One example is when you fall in love. There's absolutely no reason why you like a guy. 'Cause if there is, that isn't called real feelings.

& yes, before I almost forget. EEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! I'm utterly disgusted! Pui, pui, PUI! OMG LUH! Apple, I'm so horrified to learn that luh :X

Okay, I'll leave my dear readers to guess what I've learnt. Those that want to know, feel free to ask me (:

Toodles~

Happy CNY everyone! Thank you for wishing me via MSN or SMS, and pardon me for not replying but I was kinda lazy to=x So I shall thank everyone here. THANK YOU AND HAPPY CNY TO YOU TOO. There, I feel better now ;D Okay I guess, waked up at 10? Finished bai nian-ing at around 1 I think.

It's depressing. I don't want to give myself another chance to get hurt. I don't want to make the same mistake I made so many times before. I just don't want to.

Beverly; Lol, he'll be HAJ for the time being. Or even SHAJ, heh(:
Kristin; Precisely! Generation gap much? Haha ;D
Anqi; I'll link you soon[:
Clament; Alaf luh you.

Time for bed soon. Goodbye Earth.

Just came back from reunion dinner and I'm so damn fucked up. Mum, Auntie and grandma said I was being disrespectful by wearing too "revealing" for dinner. Hello? This is the 21st century you know. Spaghetti straps aren't "revealing". Damn you. Say what if I dress like this tomorrow must why don't come. Mum, don't forget something. You were the one who bought me all my clothing. If you disapprove of them, what for even buy? I know I'm supposed to be respectful towards adults and everything but please, she's just goddamn contradicting herself. Like that I have nothing "conservative" to wear for CNY already la. All my "conservative" clothing are black for crying out loud. Darn, don't need to bai nian already la.

Thanks so much elderly people for spoiling my festive mood. What the fuck la. Irritating people. Look at this.

Though it's taken some time back, it's still the same top and I'm still of the same size. Is it even revealing? Please la, check your eye sight can. It's not revealing. Rahhhh, spoil my mood DDDDD:

Okay okay, Haj asked me to cheer up and I will. After all, I love my fellow fruitlings.<3

Oh ya, since I'm an orange, CNY's my festival. Know why? 'Cause people give out mandarin oranges during these period for good luck and stuff. So, its the holiday when I'm really popular!

Leegek; haha, i agree! Happy early CNY to you too(:
Jasmine; Happy ealry Lunar new year to you too :D
Beverly & HAJ; Nah, Vikki's my neighbour's dog's name. Heh, and 143 means I love you. ;D Love fruitings<3


See how many oranges! I feel so loved(:

More FEMALE oranges, more luck ;DDD

I'll always be happy if you'll always be beside me.

DDDDD:

See, I was so tired that I fell asleep! Rahhhh )x

CNY celebrations in school sucked. Fruitlings all never go so I was left alone suffering in the parade square for like 3 hours? 30 mins of performance then 2 hours of cosplay. C'mon luh, it sucked can? Make us sit there until butts want to rot le. And some more what's so nice about it? Some (like less than 5) were nice but the rest are just like s***. Sorry, people, but seriously, I was bored. I even managed to doze off la. These few days I've been feeling super tired. Hang over from party? LOL. Can't be so long right(: After that waited for fellow fruitlings to come to school. They were supposed to be waiting for me but I ended up waiting for them. After that went to PS again. They teased me 'cause my long socks again. Since I was wearing green, they said I worked at Sakae Sushi this time. But toooo bad, the uniforms' changed to red now (I think?). Female Orange and I bought Apple&Orange juice and it tasted terrific. This just shows that apples and oranges mix well together<3

Then we watched Ghost Rider. Fruitlings behind, the rest in front ;D It was quite okay I guess, but special 'cause we were all there(: Though it is called "ghost" rider, there weren't any ghosts la. So gao xiao. Me and HAJ were laughing through the movie 'cause of some people who were in front of us :X After movie we all headed to Parklane. Saw many apples on the way there. Reached there and I wanted to sleep already. Was so drained of all my energy. Then after billard, the pool there was full so they went to piece the puzzle. Both apples sat outside the toilet there with me cause I couldn't take the smell of smoke:/ So I alaf-ed by pressing the tap and then running away. I didn't know that the tap would spray so strongly la. Xia dao mah. Then we just sat there and chatted until they went to play pool and I sat there and dozed. Haha (: I'm becoming really lazy. After that some things happened and we split up. Male Orange and Female Apple went off to Paragon and the rest of us walked to Dhoby Ghaut station. After Male Orange came back, they headed over to Kovan or Hougang and HAJ sent me home(: Supposed to go straight back but ended up at the playground talking. Vikki was cute la. Kept on digging and digging then stopped. After that started all over again. Around 10 then I managed to pull him up and then went home. Fell asleep after clearing up dinner.

Beverly; Of couse, fruits make me happy. Especially apples and oranges(:
Leegek; Haha! Of course. Been seeing you like more than twice everyday in school? ;D
James; Linked.
Ly; Happy belated V Day to you and an early Happy CNY :)

is the best ;DDDDDDDDDDD



I don't know if it was due to the people I spent it with or the gifts that I received but it's really the most memorable day of my life (: Reached school and everyone around me had gifts and flowers. Firstly, I received a gift from my angel:D Then a purple rose from Kristin! Oh it was so pretty! After that a bouquet of flowers and chocolates from 2 people whom I shall not name. But thank you so much, I loved them. Cried 'cause of the gifts, but was okay very quickly(: After GB went to meet Beverly and all at PS. They waited for me for like 1 hour? I felt so bad luh :X Headed to Parklane while they played Billard and Pool and I sat there. Haha, no interest in such games :/ Then went home after wards and HAJ sent me home and gave me his gifts. Firstly, the roses were really meaningful. Secondly, the Tigger was super duper uber cute! And lastly to HAJ, thanks for everything(:

Though Valentine's day meant something special to me 'cause of you, I'm glad that you did not fill my thoughts totally last night. 10th March is all that I'm waiting for. Then, I'll really wash my hands off everything that has to do with you. 1 year is long enough for me to hang on. 23 more days, that's all. I can wait.

I missed the Volleyball match DDDDDDDDDD: But CIP was okay I guess. We made TangYuans! Haha, the kids were cute when they attempted to make them. We got to bring some home and I'm giving them to HAJ(: He requested it after all. Date with both apples, and all tomorrow. Lol, now I'm orange a.k.a High socks Japanese school girl a.k.a Yoshinoya worker. All thanks to the orange coloured GB shirt I wore on V day. V day 2007 is the best!

难以忘记初次见
你一双迷人的眼睛
在我脑海里
你的身影 挥散不去
握你的双手感觉你的温柔
真的有点透不过气
你的天真 我想珍惜
wo~
看到你伤心我会失意
只怕我自己会爱上你
不敢让自己靠的太近
怕我没什么能够给你
爱你也需要很大的勇气
只怕我自己会爱上你
也许有天会情不自禁
想念只让自己苦了自己
爱上你是我情非得已

什么原因
我竟然又会遇见你
我真的真的不愿意就这样陷入爱的陷阱

Nice song, old but still very nice right! Thanks Valerie for telling me the title.

Fruitlings forever and ever and ever! 2 apples, 2 oranges!

Leegek; haha, wo men hao you yuan fen! Happy belated V day!
Steph; Yes mam? LOL.
Meihao&Claris; Happy belated V day!
Beverly; Fruitlings forever<3

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY everyone.

Just felt like blogging though I don't know what to. I realized that my English standards are dropping drastically and all my grades are dropping. Which means I have to head to the books already. No more late nights and sleeping during lesson time already. I better buck up real fast or I'll lose my stamina. Anyway, V day is not only for couples. It's for friends and family too! So I'll spend it with my classmates in class, GB girls during GB and whoever is accompanying me after GB. HEH. Such a fulfilling day indeed ;D

Alright, I shall go to sleep already 'cause it's late and I don't wanna faint during GB. Water games okay! Treasure Hunt too. HOHO(: Such fun. Tata!



First things first.
Happy Belated Birthday Beverly.
Happy 1-yearx33
and
Happy Early Valentine's Day.

Well, what else is there?
Lazy to blog. Lazy to care.
Argh, just lazy to do everything luh.
V Day's tomorrow, what should I do?



Joanne; And you're my new girlfriend! Lol. I;m nice too you know;D
Meihao; Lol, don't be lame laaaaa. Go out sooon(:
Zhaozhi and Celina; Okay! He owes us for not teaching us this year right! SO he has to help us.

School's tomorrow and I don't want to go. Attire's gotta be in tip-top condition. I haven't studied or even cracked open a book this weekend. I just wanna party some more like we did last night. Aww. Time passed supar quick and I want it back. Oh well,I'll go iron my clothes and then head to bed. *Yawn*, despite the many hours I spent sleeping today, I'm still tired. Well,



Woah. Craziest party last night at Beverly's house. I made a new friend and she's nice(: Okay, to summarize the whole craziness, all the girls drank and got drunk except Joanne and me. I was just seh and more awake then the rest. It was hell looking after them. LOL. But it's a nice experience though some what mood-dampening. But hell, that's the price you pay when you drink.

Camp was okay. Sec 2s have improved tremendously as compared to last year. Yay! And some of the sec 1s were better than I thought they will be. Which is gooooooooood(: Okay. Done. Finished posting. Now I need to go back to sleep and rest my poor spinning head due to alcohol.



Camp's finally here and I've just finished packing. Had some free time so came to update my blog. Meeting Angeline at 4.15 so I haven't much time left actually.

Today was so much more peaceful compared to yesterday. A maths test sucked. I know I'm so gonna fail it. Nothing much happened today actually. Anyway yesterday night talked to Beverly. I so needed a listening ear and she was there. Thanks~ It's been awfully long since we last talked that long already. And I'll be seeing her for her birthday party! I so can't wait. Vanessa and Roujun will be there! Too bad Mingting won't be going D: But we'll have fun all the same. I wanna drink :X I know you'll all let me. I so need to catch up with you girls already. Okay, reply tags and I'll go.

Cesca; I'm no retard luh. Relinked.
Meihao; I'm free on Sundays. Want go out then? Heh<3
Beverly; Yeah! So we'll drink on your partaye okay? 171105<3
Vera; You bet I do. I'll buy for you soooon. What flavour? ;D
Fiona; Banana SPLIT! She's going to camp later. Want to join us? xP

I know you will all miss me a lot. Fret not, I'll be back on Saturday. Till then. MISS and THINK of ME!



Yesterday.
GB was alright I guess. Camp proposal changed a lot due to unavailable slots and stuff like that. Hope that it'll be as fun as I hoped it will be (: Optimistic yeah? Did a bit of drills with the Sec 3s after GB and headed to Angmoh to check out the prices of the goods with them. Ate noodles at the playground then headed home afterwards.

Today.
Left class before HMT and went to the swing to sit with Vera and Marcus. After that due to the 'hotness' of the sun, we moved to the shade there and started talking to Mr Chan. He's nice you know. I think he bought lollies for our class. YAY! Mr Chan, you're not bad (that's a compliment okay!) :D Then went to eat Mac with Rj at Hougang point and went back to school to watch the match. Ended up found out had CIP then chiong to His Connection.

Argh, I know I said I'll be positive and optimistic but ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Okay, there. I've vented out my frustration and I won't make negative comments (: Yay. Feeling better already.

Act jiu shi act. Yong yuan du gai bu liao de. Dan wo wu suo wei. Yin wei bu shi wo ying gai guan de shi. ;D

Going to Bev's partaye on Sat after camp. Van and Rj will be there! Not staying over night though. But we'll chat till our heart's desire. Gossip gossip gossip!

Bloody, idiotic, irritating, bitchy, good for nothing, faggot.


We're on talking terms already. I hope things will just get better instead of the other way around. I swear cherish all of my friends. Now and forever.

Darling, I saw you many times in school again. What can I say? Tried not to look and it helped a lil bit I guess. I love you still<3




Yiwei; HI (:
Leegek; Ya la! lol, guess we're fated hor! heh [:
Vera; We'll play again next PE alright!

Okay, back to studies. I want to ace my tests!



For they are so much a part of me.




I hope that we'll be back to normal soon (: Till then, I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Hell, I missed you like crazy today boy. Seeing you 3 times in school so didn't help.

Roujun; I love my superdarling too. Remember gossip and shopu partner!
Beverly; I'll try to make it on the 10th. Wanna drink with you, you see<3
Vanessa; How could I ever forget you my dearest! Date with you and Bev veryaye soon I promise!<3
Leegek; Thanks, I'll try to smile more alright? (:

Supposed to be studying Lit so I'll go back to the notes.



One message, one conversation, one moment, one day, one love, all for eternity.





Namely Audrey, Beverly, Celina, Jyrminn, Valerie, Vera. I love you all to pieces no matter what took place in the past. And I'll continue loving you all.

it's how many times you open your heart to love.



Love; A four letter word you can utter illogically but very difficult to explain logically.
Romance; The flavours of love.
Kiss; The moment when you realize science, logic and words are superfluous.
Longing; A chemical reaction of the heart called desire.
Heartbreak; The moment when the chemicals no longer bring about a reaction.
Marriage; The perfect union of 2 chemicals.
Affairs; Just disguised as love with a non fairytale ending.



I miss Vanessa, when is she going out with me D:

Meihao; MAY! Let's go out shopping again alright?
Beverly; Can we go out soon pretty please? I really need to pour out my troubles to you.


Sometimes, when a friendship seem to be heading to nowhere, I really feel like crying for I do not want to lose yet another.




Cause now I just don't.




Beverly; You said it. If I call you at 3am, you better pick up :D
Vera; I didn't! Lol, why would I torture my xiao di?
Cesca; No you don't.
Li yan; Its frustrating right! It may not seem that a lot of people visit but when you hear that so and so has read your blog, you'll be like "waddahell"? =.=



Ok, its late and I have to get up early tomorrow. See you all next time [:

2o5.
Angeline.
Audrey.♥
Beeting. :D
Celina. :D
Celina&Valerie. :D
Charlene.
Cheryl.
Claris.
Dawn.♥
Elaine. :D
Elizabeth.
Francesca.
Gb.
Genevieve.♥
Jasmine.
James.
Jeremy.
Joanne.
Jocasta.
Jon.
Jyrminn.
Kristin.
Leegek.
Li yan.
Meihao.
Nicole.
Pearleen.♥
Pei Ling.
Priscilla.
Quila.
Roujun.
Sarah.:D
Vanessa.
Vera.
Yueli.
Zhaozhi. :D
Zhiting. :D
Zien. :D




layout: paperlove
designer: Yiqing.
font: dafont.com
programme: photoshop

August 2006
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Since August 19, 2006.

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