Time to say goodbye..
It's just another love story.
Saturday, January 20, 2007,
8:45 PM
I shouldn't love you, but I want to. I can't turn away.
I shouldn't see you, but I can't move. I can't look away.
Sometimes I wonder if you're the right one for me. Its too early to tell right now but boy, you came into my life at the right moment. You made me realize that there's much more to love than what I thought there was. That there were much more opportunities out there than what I thought was the ultimate. Perhaps you'll be the one to teach me how to love again.
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop.
Maybe you can call this infatuation but I think not. I think that maybe God has given me another chance to love again. I'm afraid of taking the chance, a chance to get hurt like I did so many times in the past. I'm terrified that perhaps one day, what I thought was true, actually was nothing but another lie. But I don't know why, I'm willing to take a chance. Perhaps thinking now that we're possible may be too big a step to take. But time will tell whether we were meant to meet along life's journey.
Just so you know, this feelings' taking control of me.
And I can't help it, I won't sit around, I can't let him win now.
Cause boy, I'm scared that if I let you go, love'll never find me again. There's only so much that life gives you. If God threw you a chance to love and you never knew and let the chance fade, you may never ever find it again. What if you're the one for me and I let you go? I've let chances like this slip pass my fingers too many times. I don't want to make the same mistake I made in the past. It'll just mean I never grew up. Every time your message comes in, my heart takes a leap. Every time it isn't you, I can't help feeling disappointed.
Thought you should know, I've tried my best to let go of you.
But I don't want to.
I just gotta say it all before I go, Just so you know.
I sound like some love struck teenager but you gotta know that it takes courage admitting that I've finally let go of the past and I'm willing to move on and look ahead. I want to open my heart up and let down the walls that I've placed around me for so long already. It's tiring keeping my guard up day after day against others. It's restricting me from having the freedom to do what I really want to do.
It's getting hard to be around you, there's so much I can't say.
Do you want me to hide the feelings, and look the other way.
I'm experiencing feelings that I haven't felt in many months. I'm feeling the hope that I thought I would never have again. However will I scare you off with everything that's happening so fast in my life? The fact that'll we may never have enough time for each other. With my studies and Gb and friends. You with the things you have to do. We may meet once or twice a week only. Is that enough for the both of us?
This emptiness is killing me, and I'm wondering why I've waited so long.
Looking back I realize it was always there, just never spoken.
Perhaps someday, just someday, we'll realize that we were meant to be together after all. It'll take a long time to be sure but it's something I'm willing to wait for. Be it friends or much more, I'll accept what ever was meant to be. Cause it ain't something that can be forced.
I'm waiting here...been waiting here.
Forever and ever(:
